Try attempting to think of the implications that before you came into existence you did not exist. There existed a world in which you were non-existent, whether there or anywhere else. Now try to conceive that beyond the individual origin of your existence lies an ultimate point of origin for all finite existence. Now attempt to conceive what lies beyond each of these points: your beginning on the one hand and ‘the beginning of finitude’ on the other hand. As you attempt to bring to mind the point of origins of finite being from super-finite being you will realize that an infinite abyss of darkness now lies before your mental perception, as what your mind can possibly bring to mind suffers increasing degrees of conceptual shortages and inadequacies. Your memory, your conceptual perspicacity, and your imagination will all fail to come to your aid in such a mental endeavor of striving to catch a glimpse of the realities revolving around the origin of all finite being. Now attempt to try to go beyond this line of demarcation between finite being and the infinite abyss of originless, which represents what existed before the ultimate beginning of finitude, being that lies beyond it. No finite creature, no matter how intelligent, could accomplish such a mental feat that involves attempting to go beyond this line of Infinite-finite demarcation. You would realize that the fog of enigma lying before your mind’s eye becomes thicker, due your inner vision being thrown into paradoxical confusion brought upon by the thought of an originless being.
Let us now try a more personal approach to this thought experiment. Try to conceive the concept of the origin of your existence by going as far back as you can through the file drawers of your life. As you trace your way back, you will realize that the more you go back the more empty the drawers become. You will ultimately come to drawers that merely contain a sparse number of baby pictures in them, but for the most part they are empty. These drawers particular lack genuine images from a first person perspective but merely memories of pictures taken of you when you were a child between the time of your birth and up to a few years of age. Now beyond these drawers of the first years of your life as a finite being lie one last drawer. As you mentally try to open this drawer, you find that it is completely empty, as your memory lies barren of any concrete depictions of the duration of your existence up to your birth. Even the attempt to open this drawer causes discombobulation within your mind, as you come to terms with the apparent ontological emptiness of your existence that now lies before your mind’s eye. Now there actually might be a picture of a computer image of you as a baby in the womb, but such an abstraction does not suffice as an actual ontological impression of your finite existence. So ultimately the first drawer of your existence as the finite being that you are lies completely empty. You have reached the point of origin of your existence, yet as you proceed to filter through the files from front to back contained in this last chapter, the void that lies before you begins to overwhelm and consume your thoughts.
Now meditate on this conundrum of conceiving the mysterious origins of your existence as a finite being, by continually reinforcing in your mind the implications of your existence actually having a beginning. For instance, meditate on the fact that before this beginning, you did not exist at all. Now think to yourself, what happened before I came into existence and where was I when this happened? Ask yourself further, “did I actually not exist at one point?” By necessity such enigmatic questions will lead to confusion, for we perceive of our existence as falsely originless. This false perception results because we have become so habitually used to conceiving our existence as part of a continual continuum made up of day after day, as our self-consciousness seems to have no beginning nor end, seeing as we seem to live in the moment as part of an infinite past and an infinite future. Yet we know within our innermost being that indeed we do have a beginning, and that we have merely deceived ourselves into thinking of ourselves as a quantitatively finite being. This becomes very clear what we come to terms with our lack of self-sufficiency and our mortality, as well as realizing that we utterly lack qualitative degrees of infiniteness due to our inescapable contextuality and our existential finitude. Now try to abstract from this finite continuum of your self-consciousness in attempting to bring to mind those points along the continuum that lie closest to the point of origins of your existence as a finite being. Strive to go further to what lies before your point of origins and ultimately what lies before the point of origins of all of finitude. Doing so will cause the thoughts of your mind to twist in upon themselves. Even though finitude is all that you know, you come to realize how little you actually understand the enigma of finite existence.

